I was stopped by the police the other day. I was walking. They were driving. They stopped me between my parked car and my front door. They wanted me to explain (brace yourself) where my purse was.
I didn't know which point to rant about first so I merely explained that I don't carry a purse. Haven't carried one for five years. Not since it was stolen out of my car while I stepped inside a doorway for less than a minute. It was such a hassle filling out police reports; calling my bank and companies to cancel credit card; getting a new driver's license et cetera that the other paraphernalia I carried in a purse wasn't worth the bother of hauling one around. I have a leather snap case the size of a business card attached to my key ring. In it is my driver's license, credit card (no s), insurance card...period.
The dubious looking policeman apparently wasn't impressed. I got the lecture of leaving my purse in the car anyway. He ran through the fact that doing so would cause someone to break my car windows to get my purse when they saw me leaving my car without one. I wasn't impressed. Instead I was thinking of mentioning the thousands of people walking into our country everyday without any lawman stopping them. I was thinking of reminding him of Savannah's staggering crime rate with murder and drive-by shootings along with the regular garden-variety kind every day on our streets. I was considering pointing out that this was 2006 and when did he think he could get past such a sexist attitude as to assume all women are expected to carry a purse. I mentioned none of these facts to that man. I'm not stupid. Just angry. In short I was livid on all of the above accounts but kept my cool.
When he finished his lecture and I was only aware that he had when engulfed by silence, I smiled and repeated the same thing I had just told him. Obviously he hadn't heard me or he wouldn't have said all that he had. To which he replied, "Well, they'll break your car window if you're seen without one."
I interpret that to mean I must either carry a purse (empty) or leave my car unlocked with a note on the windshield saying so. Otherwise I'm inviting crime.
As someone else said: "You can't make stuff up better than the comedy you run into just living in this messed up world."

Curiouser and curiouser!

Curiouser and curiouser! I believe Lewis Carroll's Alice said that and I couldn't put it better myself. Recently I found myself reporting for my dental appointment a few minutes ahead of schedule. I realize that makes this account suspicious because who in their right mind shows up early for the dentist. Nevertheless, forging ahead. The office was locked since the staff hadn't returned from their lunch hour yet. I retired to my car parked under a nice, cool, shady oak tree rather than wait in the hot sun on the porch. I relaxed which I seldom have time to do, content to wait in comfort. I heard a metallic click and looked around for the source. My driver-side door had locked. Strange I thought but didn't get upset. Perhaps I had inadvertently pressed on the lock button of the automatic devise attached to my key. I unlocked it with that same automatic devise and sat back again to rest and relax being careful of the placement of the automatic devise so that couldn't happen again. It did happen again almost immediately. This time I knew I hadn't pressed the lock button. I unlocked it again. I have a passion about not being controlled by machines. It happened again. Repetition with timing showed within less than a minute of my unlocking it would automatically relock. Panic time? Moi? No, no. Definitely nyet. I pondered this phenomenon. Was this some sort of safety feature in my automobile that I was unaware of? Perhaps a built-in system to automatically lock an idle car for safety. I was skeptical. I could think of situations where that could be disastrous and quite unsafe. Children in the back seat's car seat while the adult got out and went around to see about them. My mind was full of reasons this wouldn't be a good idea. I planned to sit down with my owner's manual and find out if there were such a stupid devise. But then the dentist's office opened and I went in for my appointment. The whole incident was forgotten. That's how paranoid I am. Just remembered it days later when I discovered my spare car key set missing. Hmmmmm. I'll worry about it sometime when I'm less harassed.