I GOT CULTURE

                                                                 

I love that 1960s' slogan when the Savannah Symphony Orchestra handed out it printed black  on a large white lapel button to attendees. It brought a smile and inferred inclusion of everyone, not merely the usual elite, to their performances. Any reared and educated in Savannah were taught perhaps a uniquely Savannah saying: “Got is Rot and Gotten is Rotten” in proper English usage… so perhaps it was more amusing to us. As I’ve taught and traveled in many other places, I’ve learned got is apparently more acceptable now.

A decade later my son went to his school’s costume party as a hobo with a tattered white shirt, askew string bow tie, ragged tails (all reasonably priced and slightly altered via Goodwill store), five o’clock shadow cum eyebrow pencil, obviously recycled butt of a cigar, white gloves with holes in some fingers and that ‘I Got Culture’ lapel button. Don’t remember if he won the prize but his outfit was a big hit.

The Great Recession recently caused our state government to budget cut and relieved us of the 'non-essentials' like the Georgia Arts Commission. . even though it had served the state well through political contentions such as completion of the relief sculpting on Stone Mountain without ever losing sight of our heritage of remaining gracious in the face of aggressive and hostile rudeness. This now former Georgia Arts Commission served as a sort of aid and clearing house for the entire state for all of the Arts (visual, musical, literary, performing, etc.).

By 2016 I’d forgotten the ‘I GOT CULTURE’ button but on a mini-vacation trip to the coast was reminded of that lapel pin in reality. And it wasn’t even slightly amusing. An artist friend of mine and I set out to our mutual College reunion's Bar-B-Q etc. just west of the coast with the thought of making a side trip to the beach. All went well until the next morning when, awakened by said College mate at 8 AM. I looked at her as if she were insane since obviously she was. We'd known each other for 63 years and never in that time had I been a morning person. Her mantra was "Early to bed and early to rise" so I knew never to call after sundown. She knew never to call me before eleven in the AM. Why on earth would she wake me on the first day of a vacation? Apparently because someone on her cell phone needed to talk to me!! Really?? REALLY!

I don't remember the exact words she spoke but it was something about picking up my fellow college mate as she was to stay with them while I went on to Fripp Island. Nor do I remember my exact words but they were something like, I'll be having breakfast across the street from my motel on the picturesque bay so why not pick her up there. I was not rude as Southerners are not naturally so. Amazingly she, who had a vacation place in Beaufort didn't know where Beaufort Bay was! Would I bring her to Frogmore instead? (Not Frogmore as in Queen Victoria's favorite place belonging to the Royal family of the UK but a two story white wooden structure in the midst of St. Helena's Island in SC. about 5-10 miles distant from my motel). "Sure".

I drove to the gas station facing the house known as Frogmore and waited, having no coffee and not eaten but my friend had taken advantage of my motel's free breakfasts hours earlier. I gassed up the car but still no sign of the woman.  Earlier I'd expressed my feelings to my passenger about this pushy person who defended her by explaining, "She is, but she has to be to run our Art Association" (albeit as an unpaid volunteer). My jaw went slack and I said, "Oh, really", but kept the rest of my thoughts to myself... now mentally adding and obviously dumb and/or unpunctual woman to my impressions of her. Asked my passenger to call the woman on her cell and ask where she was as I waited coffee-free in Frogmore.  (To be contd.)

WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?

Fresh from what supposedly was my annual Physical Exam, now question if it were elder abuse, a USMC endurance test, the medical profession revolt against Medicare and/ or the recent election or simply sadists enjoying testing me for masochism. WHICHEVER, I managed to get through it while retaining my sense of humor, manners, sanity and life. It went like this and I do not exaggerate:
Instructed to have nothing but water from Midnight until after my exam brought Problem  #1. My blood pressure, allergy and thyroid medications are all pills taken by mouth.( I awoke at an hour I normally reserve for an adequate reaction time for, if not an alien invasion of earth at least a foreign invasion of the USA... felt this at least qualified for the latter since I was about to undertake the two most dangerous things an elder can undertake: #2 a bath and #1 drive the Atlanta Expressway System which is the most dangerous in the nation for any of any age… Did I mention, and me without a drinkable cup of coffee?)
Stared at my pill bottles pondering if I dared swallow my medicine. Called the doctor’s office (listened as recording gave the disclaimer telling me if an emergency hang up and call 911, followed by a lecture on arthritis which claimed there were over 100 different types… relieved they didn’t detail each but feared they might, followed by another on the qualifications/ training of Internal Medicine specialists before a human thankfully interrupted and told me to take my meds.
Survived bath, dressed, and with prepacked overnight ‘bag’ drove up to the exit gate which opens automatically to avoid the Home Owners Association being sued for unlawful imprisonment but Problem #2: it didn’t. Considered the cost of said lawsuit vs ramming it when I discovered it also opens when I push the entrance button on my remote so now joined the stalled cars on Ga. Hwy 400 (northern expressway that feeds the Atlanta Interstates)
Navigated both exits to I-285 East and West bur alas Problem # 3: Traffic blocked Exit 3 to my Doctors office and couldn’t safely exit there. Oh well, I'd use the next exit and double back to it. The next exit proved to be ‘Beautiful’ down town Buckhead/ Lenox Square/ Phipps. Speak of urban traffic snarls this is the King Kong of them. Managed to maneuver without a wreck and get back on 400 to my Dr. Office’s exit. Despite the ticking of the clock and hassle of it all, I was pleased to have DONE it.
Next on to parking: there are more hospitals and professional offices with attached parking garages in this area than concrete in NYC (oops exaggerated). Got trapped in the wrong one but managed to escape to the right one but no space available so toured it several times until one opened. Clock still ticking. Got on the first elevator available (though going the opposite direction but exited the parking lot on 8th floor level (the Top) and remembered the secret (no signs) of turning to exit through the rear. Remembered to go around the corner to the left and enter the professional office building’s elevators to doctor’s top floor office,.. all kept secret since there is no signage. Arrived a few minutes before my scheduled 11 AM appointment, Whew!
Beginning hunger pangs so read travel rather than food magazines. Finished two issues of Conde Nast when sign politely reminded me to shut off my cell phone which took away my only time piece. Whipped out my handy dandy electronic bridge game for a few hands to ignore my now growling stomach so got up and checked the time. 11:30 gone and headed for noon this was the longest I’d ever had to wait, here or perhaps ever. Finally an assistant type called me in. This usually started blood and urine sampling which would allow me to eat the snack I’d brought in case this sort of delay happened. Didn't happen. They wished to delay that until the MD saw me. Took all vital signs and usual measurements. Dr. saw and examined me, saw me again, EKGed me and at last took a urine sample after they bled me for about a half liter (oops again) of blood
Long story shortened,..  Returned via the already described nightmare of traffic as efficiently as possible but now am a distracted driver still fasting but cramming snacks down my mouth. Between 1:30 and 2 PM arrived home  and stepped from my car stumbling from dizziness to my neighbor's dismay. I recovered my balance immediately assuring I was fine. Surely this Health CARE system can't last. More like survival of the fittest.

EUREKA

Remember when I was surfing the net in search of the good old days? Well, as fate would have it, I sadly found them and I should be finished sorting them just in time for the next US Presidential election. Seems the good old days were recorded by photographers in the form of old pictures and newspaper (remember those) clippings.

My nieces inherited my now deceased sister's home and, after leasing it out for a movie filming, they sold it. These photographed good old days we're pretending I left in the house when I lived there, despite the fact that I shipped them to my oldest son in NOLA. My older niece had them already boxed up for me when I got there on my recent jaunt to the coast.

I'm back now but have only unloaded the top items from said box: a picture of my late Mother, a photo album and wedding album. Mother's portrait presented no problem but the photo album was another matter. I visually scanned all remembering well each event. Some highlights included photos of when my oldest son went with my brother and many others to the Caribbean on bro's sister ship to the Honeyfitz; newspaper and campaign literature on some ex-in-laws who were in politics on the west coast (including one of Robert Kennedy where they supported his Presidential campaign on top of ? Mt. Hood); son's first sailboat, an AMC minifish called Chicken of the Sea ( that name served as constant reminder to him that it wasn't ever to go to sea... only lakes, estuaries and such) etc., etc., etc. ad infinitum. That was 6 days ago and the mess still sits in the midst of the dining table awaiting its fate. Needless to say I haven't cracked the wedding album yet. Once pristine white it's now more of an unmellow yellow from age... as am I.

The moral of this blog is be #$%^$%^careful what you search for because you may just find it.